Everything Will Be Alright
by Faceless Charmer
Summary: Fai panics, when, alone with his and Kurogane's kids on Christmas Eve, one of them falls ill. He tries to reach Kurogane in a blizzard, taking the kids along with him. But with almost thirty miles between their home and the town, the car breaks down, leaving them trapped. What will Fai do to save his kids? And can Kurogane reach them in time? MxM Family AU. Title Changed


_MxM KuroFai_

 _This is a long oneshot, and no, it's not one in a series, in case you feel like that as you're reading. It's the first. Though I may do some sequels and prequels since I loved writing in it so much._

 _Sorry the title is terrible, I'll think of a better one and change it later. For now it'll just be ironic, since you, know, their day goes horribly. I'd love some ideas, actually._

 **The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year**

It was their first Christmas in their new home, in their new town. They'd only moved in a couple weeks back, when Kurogane had been transferred to a different town. Fai had had reservations, not wanting to leave the town he and Kurogane had met and fallen in love in. Where they'd lived with their three adopted children, who had now been part of their lives for almost a whole year. It would be their first Christmas as a family. He'd wanted to spend it in that town.

But Kurogane had worked really hard for this promotion, and Fai didn't have it in him to say no. So he'd spent weeks packing their things, with his dear little children doing their best to lend a helping hand, and managing to keep the breaking to a minimum. And now, they were here, and even though Fai didn't know anyone in town yet, he had his children, so he wasn't lonely.

It was Christmas Eve, but Kurogane was working anyway. Which wasn't new, or surprising. Crime didn't cease, even on holidays, so, as a cop, Kurogane often had to work during times Fai would rather have him home.

Fai had spent the whole day alternating between caring for the kids and unpacking stuff. The presents were already wrapped and hidden, ready to be placed under the tree that the whole family had worked hard to put together. Now, at nine o clock, with Christmas day creeping around the corner, he was sitting on the sofa, watching the clock, and listening to the children play in the room next door.

"Mama." said a sweet voice, and Sakura appeared, holding her stuffed dragon in one hand, Syaoran holding the other. The two of them were only five years old, and not related by blood. They'd been in separate foster homes, but lived close enough that they saw each other often, so when Kurogane and Fai got the boys, Sakura came as a pleasant bonus.

"Yes sweetheart?" he asked, and Sakura let go of Syaoran's hand and ran over, climbing into his lap. He hadn't told her to call him mama, but she did anyway, and he didn't care enough to stop her. It actually really touched him. He just made sure to make it clear to her that he was indeed a boy. The boys tended to call him daddy, and Kurogane dad.

"When is Daddy coming home?" she asked, looking up at him hopefully. Sakura, on the other hand, called Kurogane daddy, and it could sometimes make things confusing.

"Hmm. Daddy's shift ends at eleven."

"Will he be in bed by the time Santa-san comes?" Syaoran asked worriedly, toddling over. The little boy could be overly serious despite his young age. Nobody had instructed him to call Santa "Santa-san." He just did. Fai thought it was endearing.

"Well, he'll get home at about eleven thirty. If we go to bed straight away, we'll all be fast asleep by the time Santa gets here, I'm sure of it."

Syaoran smiled, relieved, then looked around, left and right, as if just noticing something. Fai had a pretty good idea what it was.

"Tsubasa?" Syaoran called back into the room they had just exited. There was the sound of footsteps coming closer, and after a couple seconds, the eight year old older brother poked his head into the room.

"Yeah." he said. It wasn't a question, just a way of letting Syaoran know that he was there.

Syaoran sighed in relief, and Fai smiled warmly, pulling him into a hug. He always found it adorable how protective Syaoran was of his family, hating it whenever one of them got too far out of sight.

Tsubasa was Syaoran's biological older brother, and the looked pretty much identical. When they were both full grown, it would probably be impossible for strangers to tell them apart, unless one of them was taller.

"Thank you for helping me unpack, Tsubasa." Fai said, scooting over and patting the spot next to him. Tsubasa took the invitation, sitting in the empty space, and leaning on Fai, nodding.

"You're welcome. Dad said you're a klutz, so I didn't want you to get hurt."

Fai laughed, and kissed the boy on the top of his head. "You're very kind to think of me."

"Me too!" Sakura chirped, beaming up at him. Fai obeyed, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. The adorable little girl giggled and hugged him.

"You too, Syaoran?" he asked the little boy, who nodded and climbed onto the couch too, sitting on Fai's other side, and accepting the kiss from the blonde man. The four of them snuggled together, quiet for a few seconds, until Sakura spoke again.

"I'm so happy, Mama." she said, and Fai hugged her tightly.

"Me too, Sakura." he said, his heart bursting in his chest. He'd never imagined he could be this happy, but every day since finding Kurogane had been one miracle after another. His life hadn't been easy before that, and Kurogane's hadn't either. There had been problems. But they'd made it work, because they loved each other.

"I want us to be together forever." she added, and Syaoran nodded his agreement.

"Me too."

"We will be. Even when you guys grow up and get married, and have familes of your own, we'll still be together forever."

"I'm gonna marry Syaoran-kun." Sakura said, smiling at the boy in question, who nodded his agreement.

"And I'm gonna marry Sakura-chan."

It was something they said often. Kurogane and Fai had talked about it. It was possible it was just something they didn't mean, and would get over. But they couldn't ignore the possibility that they weren't kidding, that they really would grow up to love each other that way. And they'd decided they'd support them, no matter what.

"I can't wait for the wedding." Fai said. Next to him, Tsubasa sneezed a couple times in a row, and Fai turned to him, a worry line creasing his forehead. Rapid sneezes in a house full of children was never a good sign.

"Do you feel alright, Tsubasa?" he asked, just to be sure. To his horror (which might have been too strong a word) the honest young boy shrugged.

"You're not sick, are you?" he asked, putting a hand on Tsubasa's forehead. The young boy's skin was slightly hot under his touch, and Fai bit his lip worriedly.

"You're a little hot." he said, and Tsubasa looked up at him.

"Am I gonna be sick for our first Christmas?" he asked, and Fai's heart squeezed at the way he'd asked, because it was clear he was more worried about ruining for everyone else than himself.

"Don't worry. I'll get you some blankets and some medicine, and you'll perk right up. It's probably just a small cold or something."

Fai retrieved the items needed, and came back to the two younger kids instructing their older brother to lay down, clucking around him like worried hens. Tsubasa had listened to their instructions, either because he honestly thought it would help or because he knew it was useless to ignore the wishes of the younger two.

"Here you are." Fai said, holding out a bottle of medicine. Tsubasa took it in hid hand, and winced lightly.

"It's gross, huh?"

Fai tilted his head and smiled, rubbing Tsubasa's head affectionately. "A little. But you'll feel better."

Tsubasa nodded, and chugged some down, making a face, which his younger siblings laughed at. But he nodded again.

"It works."

He gave them each a snack, and turned on the TV. He went back to unpacking. He quickly forgot his worries. Even if Tsubasa was sick, he'd be able to deal with it. It wasn't the first time one of them had gotten sick, and it wouldn' be the last. In fact, now that Tsubasa was sick, the others would probably catch it too. He'd be busy for the next few weeks, unpacking and taking care of sick kids.

Syaoran would call to him from the room every now and again, just checking to make sure he was still in the house, and Fai called back each time, appeasing the small child.

Ten or so minutes later, he heard the very distinct sound of somebody throwing up. He dropped the items he'd been lifting out of a box, quickly going to the room he'd left the children in. Tsubasa was standing over what was thankfully an unpacked box, his small siblings rubbing his back and calling for him just as he appeared.

"I'm sorry." Tsubasa said when he saw Fai. "I...I couldn't make it to the bathroom on time." His voice wobbled, and Fai instantly scooped him up, hugging him closely. "Tsubasa-kun, don't you worry about that." he said gently, rubbing the small boy's back. "Let's get you to bed."

Tsubasa was quiet as Fai undressed him, and put him into his pajamas, throwing the dirty clothes into the already running washer. He scrubbed the boy's face gently with a washcloth, and tucked him in tightly, feeling his forehead again.

It was much hotter now. It was actually scary. How had it gone up so much in ten minutes?

"I'm gonna go find the thermometer." Fai told him. Outside in the hallway, Sakura and Syaoran were waiting, little hands held together.

"Sakura-chan, Syaoran-kun, go get Tsubasa a glass of water." he instructed, and they both nodded and ran off, back in the direction of the kitchen. Fai found the thermometer in Sakura's room, which was not where he had left it last. She'd probably been playing doctor or something.

When he got back to the boys' room, Syaoran was holding out the glass of water to Tsubasa, and Sakura was placing one of her stuffed animals next to him. Tsubasa took the offered water, and after drinking, said, "I am gonna ruin Christmas, aren't I?"

"You aren't going to ruin Christmas." Fai said gently. "As long as you're here, and we're all together, Christmas will be exactly what I wanted."

"Yeah!" said Syaoran, and Sakura nodded.

They took Tsubasa's temperature, and Fai gasped at the result.

101.4 degrees.

"Is it bad?"

"Not very bad." Fai said, which wasn't really a lie. "It's a fever, but it's not dangerous."

"Okay."

"Get some rest. You'll feel much better by tomorrow, I promise."

Tsubasa nodded, but sighed sadly. "I wanted to see dad when he got home."

Fai smiled, and kissed him on his burning forehead. "I'll bring him up to see you, I promise." Both of the boys greatly respected Kurogane, always saying how strong and brave he was, and how much they wanted to be like him. Kurogane promised to teach them to fight when they were older.

Sakura, meanwhile, was more like Fai. She loved watching and helping him cook, and always went on about how kind he was. Once, he'd smiled, and bopped her on the nose.

"Mommy may look gentle, but you better believe I can fight too."

She'd grinned, and both the boys had come over.

"Really?"

Fai smiled, and said, "Ask daddy about it sometime."

He went over the memories in his head as he waited in the living room, watching time tick by. He was anxious for Kurogane to get home. Things were always easier when Kurogane was there, because he was always calm, no matter what.

Sakura and Syaoran started putting a present for Tsubasa together to make him feel better, and even though they were making a terrible mess, Fai didn't say anything.

At ten o clock, he went back to Tsubasa and Syaoran's room, peeking in. What he saw made his heart race. The young boy was asleep, but he was sweating noticeably, and moaning in his sleep. Fai woke him up gently, and instantly leaped back as the eight year old threw up, all over the floor.

"I'm sorry." he gasped out when he was finished, and Fai felt tears prick his eyes. It always hurt him how much the children, all of them, seemed to think they needed to apologize. He hated it.

He gave Tsubasa more medicine, and put a cold rag on his forehead as he took his temperature again. It beeped, and Fai looked at the results, gasping again at what it read.

104.9

It had gone up so much so quickly. Was that normal? Should he be concerned? Take his son to the hospital? It was so high. Fai felt himself start to panic, breathing heavily. He'd never had to deal with this sort of thing alone. Kurogane was always there, always making the decisions. Others might have thought the cop was controlling, but Fai was always so grateful. He was terrible in times of stress.

 _Get it together_ , he told himself. _Tsubasa needs you._

But it was impossible for him. It had always been this way. If something scary, something terrible happened while he was alone, he just froze up, completely unable to make decisions.

 _Call Kurogane then_ , was his next thought, and instantly, his fingers were dialing the number to his husband's cell. It rang and rang, but Kurogane didn't pick up. He didn't pick up the second or third time either, and Fai tried to pull himself together.

"Tsubasa, do you think you can stand?" Fai asked, and the boy did his best. Fai grabbed a coat and wrapped around him. "Sakura, Syaoran, get dressed!" he shouted, and the two little ones appeared, confused and questioning him, but not all around objecting to a late night car trip.

"We're going to dad." he said, buttoning up Tsubasa's coat. He couldn't do this alone. Kurogane would know what to do. He would know if they should take Tsubasa to the hospital, or if everything was going to be okay.

Sakura and Syaoran were ready a few minutes later, because Fai had told them to hurry. Fai picked up Tsubasa, running them all to the car parked in the garage. He blasted the heat as he hit the button to open the garage door.

"Buckle up." he instructed, and began backing out. The second he was out though, he stopped. Snow was falling heavily around them. In fact, it might have been a blizzard.

"Daddy, I'm not sure it's safe." Syaoran said from the backseat, looking out the window worriedly.

"It's alright." Fai said. "Dad's work is only about twenty-five minutes from here. That's not far. I can make it."

But that was under normal circumstances, not when the road was covered in ice and snow was making it almost impossible to see. But he had to do it. He drove, moving slowly and carefully. The road was quiet. They didn't see many people, even when there wasn't a blizzard. They lived out of town, isolated from everyone, which made shopping and going out to eat a road trip every time.

Fai tried to distract the littlest ones from their worries by playing one of the audio CDs they had. Next to him, Tsubasa was groaning quietly, and Fai was glad he'd remembered to bring a bucket for the boy to throw up into.

"We'll be there soon." Fai said, and the closer he got, the more he began to calm down. It would be alright. Kurogane would know what to do.

But then, ten or so minutes into the drive, the car began to make a strange sound, and shuddered under them. Not wanting to break down in the middle of the road, Fai pulled off the side, cussing very quietly under his breath. This couldn't be happening. Not know.

But it was.

The car sputtered, and then died.

Fai tried turning the key, urging it on under his breath, but it wouldn't come back on. He opened the car door.

"Stay here." he told the kids, going around to the hood. He lifted it, gazing down at all the gears and wires, but it was pointless. He didn't know anything about cars.

He put the hood back down, shivering as the snow fell heavily around him, and saw three scared faces looking back at him. He tried to put on a brave face, and went back into the dead car.

"It's okay." he said. "I'll call dad. It'll be okay." He didn't know if he was trying to convince them or himself. He took his phone out of this pocket, and found Kurogane's cell number. Maybe he should have been calling the police, but it wasn't an emergency yet, and besides, calling Kurogane was basically the same thing.

The phone rang twice, and then, on the third ring, Kurogane picked up.

"Hello?"

"Kurogane!" he said, so relieved he didn't even use on of the nicknames Kurogane hated. "Thank God you picked up."

"Is everything alri-?" The phone started to make a static noise, and Kurogane's last word was muffled. There was a boop sound, the sound of the phone hanging up, and Fai looked at his cell in horror. The call had been lost. The blizzard was affecting the lines, had probably knocked some over or something.

Had he sounded panicked enough for Kurogane to be concerned?

He tried a couple more times to get a hold of him again, but it wouldn't even ring anymore.

This was going from bad to worse really fast, and the inside of the car was already starting to get cold. He looked out into the blizzard. He couldn't take them out there. The nearest building was still many miles off. Even his home was just far enough away that he knew he couldn't make the kids walk to it. And sure, it was only a twenty-five minute drive to Kurogane's work, but walking was an entirely different matter.

Should he leave them there on their own, and go off alone? He didn't like the thought of that at all. They'd be alone, defenseless, and he wouldn't be there if something went wrong. He couldn't do that either.

"It's okay." he said, for what felt like the hundredth time that night. "He's getting off work soon. We...we'll be okay until then." They'd just have to wait here, until Kurogane either got off or came looking out of worry at Fai's phone call.

"Come on Tsubasa-kun." he said gently. "Let's get in the backseat." The sick boy did as told, and Fai sat in the back, bundling the kids close to him. Sakura whimpered in his lap, and both boys were holding his arms tightly. Fai felt so helpless, and couldn't contain a sob.

"I'm so sorry." he said. "I'm such a terrible parent."

"No…" Sakura said, already crying too. She buried her head in his chest.

"You're not." Syaoran said, tears gathering his eyes too. The boy hugged Fai as hard as he could, and Tsubasa did the same. Fai tried to stop himself, to look brave, but instead, he only cried harder.

*(*)

Kurogane was looking out the window of the station worriedly. It was snowing pretty hard out there. He'd have to drive home in it. Not that that was what was really bothering him. Fai's phone call a few minutes back had put him on edge. There had been an edge of hysteria to Fai's voice, something Kurogane knew how to recognize by now. It was the same panic that always occured whenever things got too out of hand for Fai to handle. Something was wrong.

Was something wrong with one of the kids? Two of them? All of them? Kurogane growled under his breath, unable to stand the uncertainty. What if someone had broken in, and had them all at gunpoint? But if that was the case, surely Fai would have called the police, not him.

Kurogane tried to get a hold of them, ringing both Fai's cell phone and the landline. But the blizzard was fucking everything up, and his cell wouldn't even ring.

He turned around, stomping over to his coworker, Sorata. The young man was barely twenty-five, and full of stupid jokes, but Kurogane didn't hate him or anything. He did his job.

"I'm going home." he said, and Sorata looked up from the report he was filling out.

"But you still have forty minutes left until your shift is over." The black haired man smiled teasingly. "Don't you want to spend as much time with me as possible? I thought you-"

"Fai just called. The call was dropped, but there was something wrong."

Sorata paused, not looking so teasing anymore. He nodded. "Alright. Go on. I'll tell the boss you had an emergency."

Kurogane didn't hesitate, or even say thanks, mind too busy racing with possibilities. He got into his car and started home. It was almost impossible to see anything, but that wasn't going to stop him.

*(*)

The kids were starting to shiver, and Fai hated it. And, to make matters worse, Tsubasa only got hotter and hotter. His brain was boiling, Fai knew that much. At his temperature, it had to be. He got out of the car, packing snow together, and even though it was probably the wrong thing to do, he pressed it against Tsubasa's head. He had to stop his brain from frying.

"It's okay." he said, crying softly. Sakura and Syaoran were clutching each other tightly for warmth as he worked on his oldest son, and Fai saw Syaoran take off his coat and wrap it around Sakura, who was shivering worst then the rest of them.

"Daddy, you have to get them somewhere safe." Tsubasa whispered to him. "Take them and go get help."

"No." Fai said, hugging Tsubasa tightly. "I'm not leaving you alone and we are not leaving this car. Kurogane's coming, I know he is."

He hated himself so much. This was a crisis, his kids needed him, and he was useless. He started to cry again, (or had he even stopped?) emotions ripping through him like bullets. Hatred, shame, fear. He didn't deserve these kids, he'd been right all along, all those things he'd told Kurogane when the subject of kids had first come up were true.

Suddenly, there was a light. Fai, who was kneeling in the snow, looked up. There was a car, coming from the direction of their home. Which meant it wasn't Kurogane, but right then, it really didn't matter who found them, so long as somebody got them out of there. Fai leaped up, running for the road, shouting desperately, but by the time he got there, the car was already past them, never even pausing in its journey.

"Help!" Fai shouted after it, but it drove on. It probably didn't even see them, with the heavy blizzard around them. Fai screamed in fury and fear, falling back to his knees. He sobbed into his hands, and might not have moved for many minutes if he didn't feel tiny hands touch his back. Syaoran and Sakura were both there, crying and holding his shirt. Fai picked them up and quickly ran them back to the car, shutting the doors. He climbed into the front seat, and kept trying the key. In the back, Tsubasa was trying over and over to call Kurogane, but the call wouldn't go through.

"Mama...are we gonna die?" Sakura whispered fearfully, and Fai shook his head.

"No. We are not gonna die. I won't let you kids die."

But how could he know if he was telling the truth?

*(*)

Kurogane cursed loudly. This stupid blizzard was making it impossible to get home as fast as he wanted to. It had been fifteen minutes already and he was barely out of town! He drove as fast as he could, but it still wasn't fast enough.

Something was terribly wrong. He could feel it in his bones.

"You better not be dead." he growled to himself. "If any of you are dead, I'm going to kill you in the next life."

After everything he and Fai had been through, after how hard he'd worked to keep Fai alive, he couldn't imagine losing him, or the kids.

They had to be okay.

*(*)

"I'm going out there." Fai said to the kids, who instantly began wailing in distress. He didn't want to do it, he hated that he had to do it. There was another car back at their house. He had to go back for it, and also see if the landline worked. If it didn't, he'd speed back here, and he'd get them into the warm safety of the car. He wanted to take them with him, but they were already shivering like they'd been thrown into a frozen lake. They would never make it out there.

He checked the trunk, and to his relief, he found a blanket. He wrapped them in it, shoving them as close together as he could get them. He made sure the windows were all the way up.

"Daddy, don't." Syaoran whimpered.

"You'll die!" Sakura screamed.

"I have to." he said. "I'm gonna go home and get the other car and come back for you."

"It's too far!" Tsubasa pleaded. "You'll freeze to death."

"I won't." Fai told them, leaning down and hugging them closely. "Because you three are back here waiting for me, and I'd never leave you alone. If you're waiting for me, I'll always survive." He stood up, and even though it was a dumb idea, he took off his coat, and gave it to them.

"You need it." Sakura cried, holding it back to him desperately.

"You need it more." he said. "If someone comes, you three honk the horn as loud as you can, okay? If you see any lights coming this way, you honk the horn."

The three of them nodded, and he hugged them one last time before shutting the door and started back towards his house. He stuck to the road, running, slipping and falling many times. But he got up each time, because there was no way he was going to fail. He couldn't fail, not when the three of them were depending on him. They'd driven about ten minutes, which was about ten miles, maybe take away a few, since he'd been driving cautiously. Humans walked at three miles an hour. So it would take him just over three hours to reach home.

But that was only if he was walking. And if lives didn't depend on him.

He ran, ignoring the pain that started to grow in his side and chest. He couldn't afford to stop. Besides, running generated heat, and he needed it. It was freezing cold, and it wasn't long before Fai was shaking uncontrollably. Still, he didn't stop, trying not to cry, but failing, and pleading he'd make it back home in time.

After thirty minutes, his body couldn't take it anymore. He felt himself collapsing, but tried to stay up. _Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop,_ he begged his body. He'd promised them he'd come back. And if passed out here on the side of the road, he'd probably die, and then they'd be alone, with no one knowing where to look for them.

 _You can't let that happen._

But it wasn't up to him, and he fell to the ground, the snow quickly making him even more cold. He lay there, shivering as the world began to vanish around him.

 _You can't, he told himself. They need you. You have to get up._

He tried. He dragged himself onto his hands and knees, but when he stood and took a couple more steps, his legs buckled under him. He kept moving, even as his vision went black. He kept walking all the way until he passed out, falling into the snow once again.

*(*)

Kurogane thought getting closer to home would calm him down, but instead, it only made it worse. Whatever was wrong, he'd know soon. What if it was already too late?

He was driving faster than he should have, considering he couldn't see three feet in front of him. But he didn't stop, foot on the pedal. Why had they chosen to live so far away from home? It was Fai who had chosen the place, insisting that the big backyard and woods around them would be ideal for the kids to play in. And because he'd already forced Fai to move, even though it was damn obvious the blonde didn't want to, he didn't argue. Besides, it was a nice place.

Kurogane was jerked from his thoughts when suddenly he heard a sound. It took him a couple seconds to place it, because all the snow was muffling it. It was a car horn, honking over and over again. Someone was trapped out here, and they needed his help.

But he couldn't afford to stop, could he? He considered just going past, and coming back later, once his own family was safe and sound.

But it might have been too late by then.

"Fuck!" he shouted, hitting the steering wheel. He braked to a stop, jumping out of his car. It took a couple of seconds of surveying the area before he spotted the honking car, and the closer he got, the more he started to run, because suddenly, it was very clear that that was Fai's car.

He spotted Syaoran in the driver's seat, honking the horn over and over, and only stopping when Sakura shouted something from the passenger seat next to him, pointing. Syaoran looked up, and when he spotted Kurogane, he started to sob, throwing the car door open and jumping out into the snow.

"Daddy!" he cried, which was rare. Usually Fai was daddy, but Kurogane didn't dwell on it. "Help!" he shouted, and he and Sakura both leaped into his already opening arms. He clutched them to his chest, gasping at how cold they were.

"What's going on?" he asked desperately, but his question went unanswered, because he spotted his oldest kid, running over, also crying. He reached out, and Tsubasa basically collapsed into him. Despite the fact that he was obviously just as cold as his siblings, Tsubasa was burning hot.

"What the hell is happening?" Kurogane growled. "Where's Fai?"

His husband was nowhere to be seen, and Kurogane's heart was racing.

"Tsubasa got sick, and daddy wanted to drive to you, but the car broke down, and he's trying to run back home!" Syaoran said quickly, and Kurogane was glad the boy didn't beat around the bush.

"He's out there!?"

He didn't wait for an answer, hustling the kids to his car and blasting the heat as high as it could go. He ran back to Fai's car, checking to see if they'd had a blanket, and, upon finding one, ran it over to his car and threw it over the three kids huddled together in the backseat.

He slammed his foot down on the pedal, and the car lurched forward.

"Keep an eye for him!" he shouted at the kids, who were all already doing just that, looking out the window. Looking back at them, he saw Fai's coat around Sakura's shoulders, and he exhaled in disbelief. That idiot...he'd gone out there without his coat…

They moved along the road as fast as Kurogane could force himself to go. If they went too fast, they'd pass him, but if they were too slow, it might be too late by the time they found him.

From the backseat there suddenly came the sound of throwing up, and Kurogane turned to see that Tsubasa had rolled down the window and upchucked everything he was still managing to hold on to.

"How high was your fever?" he asked, and even though he didn't want to, he pulled to a stop, listening as Tsubasa a scarily high number that was almost 105. He went into his trunk, and found his first aid kit. In it, luckily, was a chilled ice pack, that he took over to his older son.

"Lay down." he told the boy, who shook his head.

"I have to keep an eye out for daddy." he whispered, obviously distressed. Kurogane sighed, and held out the pack to Tsubasa.

"Okay. But keep that against your forehead, you hear me?"

Tsubasa nodded, pressing it against his skin, and turning to look back out the window with his siblings as Kurogane shut the car door and got back into the driver's seat. "Don't worry. We're going to find him, and then I'm taking you all to the hospital."

That was the plan. But, after what felt like only minutes, the house came into view. Kurogane cursed again, lower this time, since the kids were listening. The house had been close, by car, but there was no way Fai had managed to reach it.

Which meant they'd passed him.

"Alright, you guys are gonna wait here." he said, starting to stop, but before he could bring it to a complete stop, all three kids shouted, "No!"

"We want to help find Mama!" Sakura said pleadingly.

"Please don't leave us!" Syaoran begged.

"We can help!" Tsubasa added.

Growling under his breath, Kurogane listened, turning them back around. They drove, silent, tense, all looking like hawks. Kurogane wasn't going to miss him the second time. Had Fai seen him? Had he called out to him?

"Dammit."

*(*)

Fai was cold. That was all he was aware of. He couldn't remember where he was exactly, couldn't figure out why he was cold. He just knew he was. Freezing.

To death.

"Kurogane." he whispered. He wished they'd had more time. These few years hadn't been nearly enough.

He wouldn't get to see his kids grow.

If…

They even survived.

Ah. That's right. That's why he was cold. They were all trapped out in a blizzard, and he'd try to run home. And even though he'd told them he wouldn't let them down, that he'd be back, he'd failed, lied without meaning too. He'd really thought he'd be able to make it, if it was for them.

But he couldn't.

"I love you." he whispered, to all four of them. If they lived, at least they'd be safe with Kurogane. With Kurogane they would grow up to be wonderful people, with high morales and never taking shit from anyone. If he was there he'd probably just find other ways to almost kill them. So it was probably better this way.

Probably.

But…

He still didn't want to die. He wanted to be with Kurogane, and watch them grow. He wanted it so much.

So much that he actually managed, somehow, to open his eyes. He pushed himself up, as best as he could, but his arms were weak, and he fell back into the snow face first.

"I...can't…" he whispered, unsure what he meant. He couldn't get up? Or he couldn't die?

Both.

He couldn't get up.

But he just couldn't die.

*(*)

"Daddy, stop!" Sakura suddenly shouted, and Kurogane braked harshly, thinking she must have spotted an animal in the road or something. But there was nothing there, and he looked back at her, wanting to yell at her to stop wasting his time. But he held himself back because he didn't want to hurt her, not when she was too young to know he didn't mean it.

"Daddy, here." she whispered, pointing out the window. "I think Mama's here."

He looked out the window, trying to see whatever it was that she was seeing. There was only snow. But maybe she'd seen something, maybe heard something. Really, he didn't care how or why she thought this was where they needed to stop, as long as she was right. He rolled down the window, shouting out into the snow.

"Fai! Are you there!? Fai!"

There was only silence in return, but the kids were already climbing out of the car, trudging in their wet shoes, looking and calling desperately. Kurogane got out to do the same, looking left and right, and shouting Fai's name.

"Fai! Where are you!?"

"Over here!" Tsubasa suddenly screamed. "I see something!"

He and the other children ran as quickly as they could manage, following Tsubasa as he ran toward something. Kurogane saw it too now. It was definitely something, laying there in the snow. A person. It was a person.

It was Fai.

"Daddy!" Tsubasa screamed, and the younger children echoes his screams.

"Fai!" Kurogane gasped, finally reaching his husband's side. The usually pale man was even paler than normal, deathly so. His breathing was shallow, and his eyes were closed, and he wasn't shivering, which Kurogane knew was a horrible thing. When they stopped shivering, it meant they were knocking on death's door, their body wasn't even trying to keep them warm anymore.

"Wake up!" Kurogane shouted, shaking Fai, but there was no response. "Wake up!"

"Mama, please!"

"Daddy, wake up!"

The kids screamed around him, but not even their cries invoked a reaction. Kurogane gave up. Waking him wasn't important. What was important was they get him into the car, and get to nearest hospital. He picked up his husband, his own body's temperature dropping considerably after coming into contact with Fai.

They all ran back to the car. Kurogane put Fai in the passenger's seat, and took the blanket the kids had been using to wrap around him now. When he sat down in the driver's seat, he found all three kids sitting up in the passenger seat with Fai, huddled under the blanket with him to provide body warmth.

"Don't worry." he told them. "Everything's going to be okay."

*(*)

Sakura and Syaoran were the first to be discharged. They were treated for hypothermia, and given food and hot drinks to warm them up, and, after only a few hours, the doctors determined they would be alright, and discharged them. They waited in the waiting room with Kurogane, each on one side of him, sitting way too somberly for a couple of five year olds. Sakura had her thumb in her mouth, which had taken forever to get her to stop doing. Usually if Kurogane caught her he'd tell her to knock it off, but right then, he let it pass.

He wanted to go and sit with either Tsubasa or Fai, but the doctors were still stabilizing them, so, for now, they had to wait.

A documentary about pyramids came on, and Syaoran perked up for the first time. But the volume was down way too quiet for his kids to hear it, so Kurogane called out, "Oi! Turn up the TV. He can't hear it!"

One of the workers heard him, and either felt threatened enough or just didn't care, and turned it up, loudly enough that Syaoran was finally at least a little distracted from his troubles. Sakura joined him on the floor, leaning against him, and Kurogane saw the two of them holding hands as they gazed up at TV.

They got news of Tsubasa first, right as the documentary on pyramids was coming to a close. The doctors told him that they'd managed to get his fever to go down, and he was now resting in a room of his own, bundled up to try and chase away the cold.

"Can we go see him?" Kurogane asked, and the kind doctor nodded.

"Of course. Follow me."

He was sleeping when they came in, but his eyes creaked open at all the news his younger siblings were making, even though Kurogane was shushing them.

"Tsubasa!" Syaoran cried, jumping onto the bed and burying himself under his brother's blankets, cuddling close to him. Sakura did the same, and within seconds, Kurogane could hear sniffles coming from all three of them.

"Hey. Stop crying." he said, sitting on the side of the bed. "Everything's okay now."

"What about daddy?" Tsubasa asked, and Kurogane decided to just go with the truth.

"We haven't heard about him yet. But he's fine."

He knew this was true, didn't doubt himself even a little. He'd been scared and worried at first, but the longer time had gone on, the more he'd calmed down. It sounded stupid, but if Fai was in serious trouble, Kurogane would know it. He would feel it.

Kurogane turned the TV in Tsubasa's room on, turning back to the channel with the documentary's. Tsubasa was a fan of them too, and Sakura was too nice to say if she didn't want to watch them. Plus, she always seemed interested whenever Syaoran or Tsubasa explained to her what was happening, so it was the best bet. Besides, who was going to bemoan their children liking educational TV?

About thirty minutes passed, with a nurse coming in every ten to check on Tsubasa. Eventually, the three of them started to doze off, all squished together on one bed, and Kurogane leaned back in his chair, wishing they were all at home. He and Fai had had all kinds of romantic plans for Christmas Eve, which were now useless.

"Mr. Suwa?" A voice whispered, and he turned. A doctor he hadn't seen yet was standing in the doorway, looking in with a smile.

"Yeah." he answered, standing automatically and going to meet the other male.

"I'm your husband's doctor. He's in much better condition now, if you'd like to see him."

Kurogane nodded, and looked back at the sleeping kids. "Could you have a nurse come in to check on them every couple minutes?" he asked, not wanting to leave them completely alone. Tsubasa was usually the one next in charge, but it was still too much to ask an eight year old to watch two five year olds on his own.

"Of course." The doctor turned to a nurse going by, and relayed the instructions. The girl smiled cheerfully and promised to check often, and Kurogane followed the doctor to Fai's room.

Fai was sleeping too, when he came in. But unlike Tsubasa, who had atleast seemed peaceful in his rest, Fai was frowning slightly, and Kurogane knew it was because even his sleep he was concerned and scared.

"Did he ever wake up?" he asked the doctor, who shook his head.

"Not yet. But he will."

No wonder the blonde was still frightened. As far as he knew, his kids were still trapped out in the cold, without anyone there to watch them.

"Thanks."

The doctor left, and Kurogane took the spot next to Fai's bed, gentle taking the blonde's hand. It was still colder than Kurogane's, but that was nothing new, since it always was. Fai had once told him it was because he had a cold soul, and Kurogane had punched him for it.

He sighed, resting back in the chair, and within minutes, was asleep.

*(*)

Kurogane was awoken by the sound of crying. He opened his eyes, and found Fai sitting up, head in his hands, sobbing. He instantly had him a hug, which Fai accepted, wrapping his hands around Kurogane's back. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, meaning he'd been asleep for about six hours.

"I'm a terrible dad, Kurogane." Fai weeped. Kurogane growled lowly, because it always hurt him when Fai thought this way.

"No you aren't." he scolded, but Fai didn't calm down.

"They almost died!"

"That wasn't your fault. You were trying to get help. You couldn't have possibly known the car was going to break down."

"I'm still horrible. I just...I just panicked, and took them out into a blizzard!"

"Hey." Kurogane pulled out of the embrace they were still in, looking Fai directly in the eyes. "You have trouble making decisions, and you panic too easily. But you are not a bad parent. You ran out into a blizzard for them, without even your fucking coat. Bad parents don't do that. Do you hear me?"

Fai paused, sniffling, taking in his words. Eventually, he nodded quietly, accepting the hug Kurogane wrapped him in.

"Are they okay?" Fai whispered, meaning the kids.

"They're all fine. Syaoran and Sakura were already discharged and are sleeping in Tsubasa's room. He's fine too. They're all okay. Got it?"

"Got it." Fai said softly.

And they kissed gently, alone in a hospital room.

*(*)

Fai was swarmed the second he walked into Tsubasa's room. Syaoran and Sakura wrapped themselves around him, and he ran over to Tsubasa to gather him into the hug too.

"I'm sorry." he told them, still feeling responsible, not matter what Kurogane said, but they shushed him and hugged him, and loved him, and his heart swelled as he cried into them.

A few hours later, Kurogane came back with all their Christmas presents, which they passed around, laughing and joking around. Fai threw some wrapping paper at Kurogane, which started a pattern, so quickly, Kurogane became the guy in charge of the trash.

As he watched the kids each opening a present, Fai reached out, and found that Kurogane's hand had been reaching for his at the same time. He held it tightly, and even though he still wasn't sure if he was a good parent, he was going to try.


End file.
